haish..oh wad the hell..

love..
sth dat makes u go crazee...i noe dat for sure..here i am like waiting for her msg..just a damn bloody msg..and like wad?yest i didnt get it...look at the time now..-->5.36 a.m..i can't sleep.. i feel woah..like shit..is she like waiting for me to initiate the msg..hmm..let's take a look at this flashback..

4 days ago..her prepaid went low..so i guess she didnt top it up so..she'll be using her parent's phone instead..so am i like suppose to msg her mum or dad asking whether she's there?i dunnoe...who's at fault?me?her?i dunnoe...seriously...i tink if i were to talk to her abt dis when i got the chance..Both will probably be at a defensive mode..she'll be like "why shld i always be the one?"bla bla bla..and i'll be like..oh ohkae im sorry..cos u see..she's not like this..wad do i mean by "like dis"?
i mean..if she really misses sum1 or wad..she'll msg.. or call..she really doesnt mind who initiates the msg or call first...haish..so i guess she did'nt miss me..haha..to tell the truth..i just dunnoe wad else to expect or do..i kinda knew she won't do the same efforts for a guy again cos of her past experience with a guy who does'nt reciprocate her love...so...shahid..well done..ur as good as dead..haha..ur gf is an amazingly strong girl...haish...I dunnoe why i'm like complaining..but i dunnoe...i just feel maybe we're drifting apart rite after when i went to Kuantan for a holiday?dis is sooo f-crap man..serious...now i'm still waiting for her..waiting for a lousy msg or a call..and i don't tink it will come any sooner..so i'll just maybe forget abt dis...maybe if it gets worse..i'll have to do sumting den...i'll not put in my full efforts animore..cos the more i put in my life, my soul and my everiting..i'll tend to expect at least something back from her and is dat wrong?At times i just feel i could'nt expect aniting from her so i tink..i'll just forget it..i'm a rubbish bf aniway so why complain rite..so shahid just shut up..haha...i won't pray or hope dat she'll msg me..i don't want any Heaven's touch rite now..just want her naturality...oh.wadever..if i were to depend on dat, maybe i won't get aniting..ahaha...
so shahid once again..complaining..and signing off again..why am i the only one keeping this blog alive.?hahaha...